I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
