your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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