How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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