You work out of a Hotel?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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