We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
