Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
