so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
