I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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