if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
