He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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