Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
