so that wasnt chicken after all
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
