when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize