Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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