get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
