So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Alive.
So much puke
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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