hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
