he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize