The maid of honor just puked.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
