I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
