So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
