Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Randomize
