Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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