the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize