I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
