Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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