Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I touched a dick in church today
I think my moral compass just broke
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
