i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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