super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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