Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
