I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
