I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
There's always time for handjobs
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
