Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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