So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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