Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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