i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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