And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
