chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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