Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
