my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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