eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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