Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize