i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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