I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just want to make out with him forever
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize