guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
