Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
