I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
smell my finger.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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