i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
