He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
