We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
