You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
