I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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