I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize