sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
ttyl tear gas
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
