how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
