Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
