# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
