so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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