Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
