It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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