Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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