You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
