you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
