U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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